A word

"Faithful"
Not long after we returned from the tour Tink came to and said this. He was thinking of moving. He had these two kids he needed to raise and LA was no place for them. He had an offer for a job out in Desert Hot Springs. When John said that to me I totally and I mean from my head to my toes felt God's peace. I just knew that I knew this was God's plan for his life. I also knew that it would be the end of the Saints as they had been. Zee the Kids wife worked for Sparrow records and they were moving the entire company out of LA to Nashville. At the time I was seeing a mass migration of people in the music biz moving either to Nashville or Seattle. I think it was then that the idea that I would someday live in the south was birthed in me.
After the tour our relationship with Roberts and Victoria soured pretty badly. You get on the road and find out what kind of people you are dealing with. Tink,the Kid and I came off the road closer as brothers than we had ever been. we had a motorhome still full of can goods. The idea was after we were done to divy up what was left and go home. Ken handed Tink 2 cans of hash then drove off. Tink had been on the road for 2 weeks with no money coming in and that hash was what he had for dinner that night. I can handle a lot with most people but cheap pettiness isn't one of them. I pretty much cut my ties with Ken after that for the next 2 years. We did one last "Waters Club" gig as a trio and what everyone noticed was how tight we were. Thats what a road tour will do for a band.
So lets look at what Stevie and the Saints did. In 5 years together there was never not once a harsh word between Tink,the Kid and I. There were words between Roberts and us at times but dispite his lack of people skills he is and remains a Saint. For a band that never had a dime we got alot done. "Metal Blue"was the critic's joy and would wind it's way across the west coast,the midwest,the east coast. We would find air play and reviews in England,Germany,France,we would recieve regular air on the Armed Forces Radio Network that went world wide. History would write the Saints into the trunk of the tree that would become the billion dollar Christian music biz. As a friend of mine once described us"Metalblue was one of those seminal albums ahead of it's time that 20 years later doesn't sound dated" You treat the blues with respect and she will return the favor.
For the next 2 years I struggled with my home life trying in vain to save a failing marriage. I had also discovered was dealing with my "Family of Origin" issues. I had stumbled across an article in People Magazine about this writer named Melody Beaty. She had written a book called "Co-Dependant no more" When she described what a co-dependant person was like it was like looking in the mirror. I began to attend meetings and reading everything I could on the subject. It was changing my life and my whole perseption of myself and my life. Meantime I went back to trade school to finish my welding certification.
About 2 years later I get a call from Roberts,he says"I booked a Saints gig!"I go There ain't any saints he goes don't worry I got it covered. I show up and he has a bass player I knew from another band. A black heavy metal bass player named Tony and a killer drummer named Tim (another brother of color) I thought visually this has possibilities. They knew the songs so I'm standing on stage and look out and notice half the front row are guys from other bands. I guess they missed the blues. We played well that night but it wasn't like it was with Tink and the Boys Still it was a Saints gig.
Those gigs led to recording "Eye on the Prize" a cd that untill recently never really saw the light of day.
As I progressed deeper into recovery from being co-dependant and an adult child of an alchoholic things at home went from bad to worse.
Our church was having a series of special services. There was this minister I knew having seen him in Alaska of all places. His name was Dick Mills. Dick had been an ex jazz dj and had been in ministry for years. He taught bible lauguage classes but his gift was that of a prophet. He had memorized 3/4 of the entire bible and if you got called forward he would have a scripture for you and I had seen him many times and he was ALWAYS on the money. The wife and I were in church that week,she being 8 months pregnant. Pastor Ralf calls us out and Dick says this"you have been ministring to the Lord for quite some time but there has been a lack of funds. That is about to change. God is going to begin meet your every need. "BECAUSE A FAITHFUL MAN WILL OVERFLOW WITH BLESSING"
Let me explain my internal thinking,I never ever think of myself as faithful,as having my ducks in a row,as a good Christian. I see myself in a constant state of trying to improve. To keep my nose above the water as someone who has to always try that much harder to keep up. I never see myself as some shinny example of virtue. Come on at the time I weighed 260lbs and smoked 2 packs of smokes a day. but I guess God saw me differently. I left church that day with alot to chew on. The ironery iof that word was this God called me faithful as I stood next to a woman pregnant with a child I didn't know was mine or not because she was anything BUT faithful. The strangeness of my life at times....
It was a word of prophesy that sent me to LA it would be that word that would release me from LA.without
Back in the studio we got a letter one day from a record label wanting to sign us. We had two
others offering the same deal. The head guy of marketing international for the largest Christian label in the country was a huge Stevie and Saints fan. He knew we were recording a new album and he wanted to hear the first tracks. I say all this for this one reason. After years of toil,poverty,hard times the labels were knocking on my door instead of me standing there with my hat in my hand. My fingers were tighly wrapped around that "brass ring"...I realized that without knowing it I had proved to myself I had the goods. I COULD PISS IN THE TALL WEEDS WITH THE BIG DOGS!!!..the problem with all this was I was a husband first and a father second. So I made one of the hardest choices I ever made in my life. I walked away to give my full attention to try to save a failing marriage and be a full time father to children I knew were hurting over the problems at home. GOD HAD LET ME KNOW DISPITE THE MARRIAGE PROBLEMS.....I HAD PASSED THE TEST....I was no longer wishy washy God had given me an iron soul and a razor sharp spirit and in the process made me a professional musician.
In less than 6 weeks we were back in Alaska. The night we set down I looked at her and thought she has no clue what this has cost me,the band, and ultimately the souls we could have brought into God's kingdom.