I know it has been a very long time since I posted. Frankly I've been occupied with survival. NOLA has been a challenge to say the least. But there has been a whole new element to my being here that I have been involved in and frankly consumed by. I have been unemployed now since June of 2009..been unemployed here since 12/13/2010..the longest period in my life..I will share my impressions and thoughts about what I believe on a Global scale what in the spiritual realm has transpired.
I sat here a year and half ago recovering from a near death experience where I had gotten sick wound up in the hospital with a collapsed lung...11 days later and $83,000(which God would totally free me from) I was home doped up on pain pills when I received a simple little gift that would be the match that would ignite a fire in my soul. My mother-In Law's best friend sent me a little devotional..."Jesus Calling"..simple and direct. In times past I had always loved study of God's word but I had never consistently worked out of a devotional. I had been a far from God for many years..lost and as the saying says"Dust on the Bible in drought on the soul". Such was my life for far to many years than I care to admit. Around 2006 I had made a re commitment of my life to Christ but it wouldn't be till I moved here that that act would truly begin to bear fruit.
As I looked for work once I recovered I began to slowly but consistently read my devotional and my bible everyday...God began to speak to me..his word began to become alive and address what was happening to me and what I was facing everyday...as the days progressed..it began to intensify..revelation began to come..whole new concepts and ideas began to take place in my thinking. At times I would sit here on my couch with my jaw in my lap over what God was revealing to me..and so many times through out my day while I looked for work,out in the community or what ever His Word o me,what He was trying to say to me would come at me from all directions.different subjects,a book,a casual conversation,the same verse..several times a day..it was uncanny..I began to anticipate each morning what He would show me that day..I became addicted to his word.(still am) My thinking,speaking and perception of life had begun to be completely re-booted..although as of this writing not a thing has changed in my circumstances..but God has changed me and is changing me from the inside out..which is how God does things..He changes you first before He changes anything else. So I will begin in future posts to share what I believe God has been showing me..s
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Monday, June 21, 2010
Where my feet take me at times..
Today I ventureddown to the Quarter. I wanted to give a cd to a nice guy I met at a gallery and ask himwhere I could display more of my work. Let me explain how I'm feeling about the world of art I've stumbled into. I have been painting now for roughly a year. I really don't know what I'm doing or if even if it's any good. In the music world the boundries are very well defined. If you hit a wrong note,sing off key or play a sour note EVERYONE notices. As Any Warhol said.."Art is anything you can get away with" but honestly...you can tell my viewing classic art that the Masters could really convey the world they saw and were able to reach out and somehow make that emotional conections to the viewer. As a songwriter,musician and soloist I understand the importance of this connection. Something happens when I make music and the audience is with me...we "Dance in the Fire" together..The challenge is to take what I do with my music and translate that to the world of art. All those many years ago what drove me to school was a desire to know the real stuff. I didn't just want to play by ear..I wanted to understand the language of music..music theory..harmony, counter point. It was as if I wanted to move to France and live there as a Frenchmen and to fully embrace the life. I had to learn the language and understand the culture. Think "French". Music was like that for me and now painting is becoming the same way..in short "If I'm gonna do this then by God I'm gonna be as good at it as I can..I'm gonna learn the art ...the "Jazz" of it" So today I headed to the Quarter to check on a few things. I was wandering down on Royal street and wandered into a gallery that featured this artist named "Bosso"..I like his stuff simple colors but wondeful paintings. As I was there I wandered down the gallery and noticed there were several prints..they looked vagely familar...turns out I was staring at original prints from..Picasso,Salvador Dali, Matisse...and then I wandered into a small room to find myself face to face with original drawings from.....REMBRANT...on the original paper and dated like 1665..I was dumfounded..and the emotional reaction was surprizing..to be so close to these "Masters" amazing..I could see up close each pen stroke,each shade and swipe of the pencil..I was weak in the knees and almost brought to tears...when I visited the "French"Gallery the guy there informed me that just down the street was a gallery with a special room that you could visit under armed guard where they actually have several original VINCENT VAN GOGH'S...10 TO 12 MILLION per painting!!!...UNREAL...you have to understand...these are works I've only seen in books...the power of their presence..in overwhelming.."Proverbs 16:9 states "Man plans his way but the LORD directs his steps"...very true today..
Thursday, June 17, 2010
More Tolley tails..
The street car,albeit the "Trolly" has been an interesting peek into the day to day life of New Orleans". The other day I caught the trolly heading downtown to give a cd to a guy I met who may (or maynot) help me get a gig on Bourbon Street. I get on board behind an attractive 20 something lady who sits across from me. I look down the car and see a cross section of the city. Cooks,waitresses,construction workers. Black,latino,white. I wonder "What is their everyday life like"?..what are their hopes and dreams?I wonder..I observe the attractive young woman sits down next to a 20 something guy who is obviously a cook..wearing chef pants and sporting burns about his arms. Wearing a cap,with short trimmed hair and a beard with sharp features..good looking kid. The woman pulls out an illistrated novel.A sort of fancy well written comic book.The kid looks over and starts chatting her up over his love of such work. I'm sitting there thinking "Dude get her number,cuz she looks like a Keeper"..Finally she asks him what he does for work. He lights up and says he cooks. He launches into a description of his daily work. The passion he displayed was obvious to all within ear shot. Sitting next to me unaware was a guy probably around my age,who turns out is a life long chef.He broke into the young guys rant to tell him how much he appreciated his passion and prompted him to ever lose that passion. He it turns out trains all the new cooks who come into the Marriot's resuraunts and gave this kid his number. They were knocking knuckles and high 5 ing. After a few "Amens from me he turns and asks what I do. I tell him a bit of my story and he says this."This is a city that celebrates people like us. First you have to Survive,then you Thrive....then you suceed"...the young chef never got the young womans number but he may have gotten a new step up in his life as a chef...I love this town...
Thursday, May 6, 2010
A day in the life of a "Pipeliner"
1975 I graduate from high school. That summer I move to Anchorage and my Dad gets me a job working for the plastering company he works for as a 'hod-carrior". Grunt. A "Hod" was a triangle shaped contraption that you fill with plaster and toss on boards to be plastered on the walls. Heavy and messy. Mostly I built scafolding, scrapped floors and helped out. What it did was give me a union card. As a "B"list union memeber I could go to the hall and get a job. By 75 the Pipeline was in full swing and we had people from all over the world showing up for work. At 19 I would meet and work with people from Scotland,Germany,Mexico South America and nearly every state in the USA. I worked with a lot of southern folk. Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas. My first job was in Valdez. I was part of the bush crew. Our job was to cut up trees that had been taken down and burn them to clear the last 9 miles to the port in Valdez. I had sprained my left ancle just prior to getting this job so I show up and realize it was a 4 mile trek up hill each day with a 40 pound chain saw on my back before a 10 hour day!..I was young and "tuff" then. What I noticed about the camp was how well they fed us. Steaks, sea food,pasteries..good food. I roomed with a guy older than my Dad who was nearly retirement age. He was a gnarled old guy with a serious gas problem. I would look at all these guys and tell myself...this will not be me!!!..I transfered my card from Anchorage to Fairbanks to be closer to friends and work the upper part of the line. I really didn't like to work the line. Being young and stupid I didn't understand what had been laid in my lap. A chance of a lifetime to set myself up for life. There were friends who stayed in the union long after the line was done and who have retired on 6 to 7 grand a month. I met one guy who worked all 4 years at the same site. He paid off his home in California,bought a home in Alaska and bought a lodge with cabins and a lake just south of Fairbanks. Today he is a wealthy man. There were many who the pipeline made their dreams come true,there were others I knew who spent 40 grand on coke and at the end had nothing to show for their toil. For years there was a bumper sticker floating around the state that said"God send us another Pipeline and we promise we won't piss this one away like we did the last one!!!" I wish I had been wiser,had more guidence and been more far seeing. But hey I was 19 fresh out of school and wanting only to have enough money to buy a guitar and screw off for awhile. My friend Randy had gotten a city gig thru the union. I really wanted one of those. Union wages, 40 hours a week and in town. I was one number away from getting one when a crack head friend took the job right out from under my nose. Melvin had overdosed on acid 5 times..Randy said a dead monkey could work better than he. Oh well such was my life then. A typical day on the line was one where you fought boredom and sleepiness all day. I had one job where I picked trash up all day. At the end of the shift the boss would climb in the back of the truck and break open half a dozen bags of trash and throw them back on the road!!Job security...I swear I must have picked the same piece of trash up at least a dozen times. My first Job was cutting trees. We spent a week with no chain saw blades..we would go to work every day and nap. We posted someone at the top of this hill who would signal when a chopper was coming to see if we were working. We would crawl out of the weeds crank up the chain saws. Smoke billowing every where with NO TEETH inthe chains just to show the bosses we were working...two weeks without a single lick of real work done...as we used to say back then.."It all Pays the same"!!! I worked the full line from Valdez to Prudoe. I worked 7-10's 7-12's even 7-16's once..seven days a week 10 12 16 hours a day!. It was a very weird scene. A bunch of guys and a few weman existed. A truck driver once told me that this old gal was giving him an attitude once and he looked at her and said"What are going to do when you have to return to the real world AND BE UGLY AGAIN"!!! Her "fan club" got a bit mean with him after that. After 9 weeks up there I would return home and be mildly shocked at seeing more than one girl walking down th e street. I turned 21 working in Isabelle Pass I also remember our countries 200 year centenial while I worked there. In the end all I had to remember was my Martin D-28. I bought my first serious guitar rig with tax returns from my work there. A Gibson 335,and a Music man 212 100 watt combo... Pipeline Daze...wish I'd been wiser...oh well.
Guitars,guitars and more guitars.
Guitars are to a player like shoes are to some women. You can never have to many. To me many of them are like this they are like girls,some you date,some you chase,some are way out of your league and then there are those you keep. It is an interesting relationship the player has with the instrument. I wish I had every guitar I ever had that I got rid of. I'd be really well off.Some that I've owned went on to become collectibles worth thousands. I currently own 8. Why so many? Like a car mechanic you need proper tool for the job. I never go to a gig with just one. I always have a back up in case I pop a string. I own a stock American made Fender strat that is like 10 years old now.I bought it new and it is beginning to show some wear. It's a great guitar but the next has always been a bit temperamental. I am one of those who like light strings and low action so some of my ladies take issue with that from time to time. Having just moved here I recently found a tech down the street to tweak them periodically. I own a 69 Fender telecaster. The world first true electric guitar..affectionately nick named the "Plank" by early players. Here is how I came to get this guitar. There was a guitar player back in Alaska we used to call "Skellator"cause he looked like the cartoon. Bald with long white hair and pasty white skin from too many years in bars. I was doing a gig once when he pulled out this guitar and played it. It was old,beat up kinda butterscotch colored with a bunch of brass parts(bridge,pick guard,nut) I remember thinking,"Man that cool looking I'd like to own that" but I thought fat chance. His bass player would go to work with me for years afterward. One day a year or so later I stopped into a pawn shop on 2 street just to look around. I was looking for a Tele cuz I was starting to get some country gigs. Low and behold there was that guitar sitting there for a mere 300 bucks!! I knew the lady who ran the place(that another funny guitar related story I'll tell at a later date) all I had on me was 20 dollars I asked her if that would be enough to hold it till that Friday when I got paid. She agreed so that Friday I had that Tele. Now this guy was a bit of a crack head and his gear showed it. The guitar was in dire need of work. The frets were gone,the keys were not working and the pickups needed to be replaced. So I took it to Chris. He put some decent sized frets on it replaced the keys and we loaded it up with Seymore Duncan pickups. I kept all the old parts cus even in disrepair they are worht something. When I got it back I had a gig that night with Dave ,Skellators former bass player. Dave was playing with him the next night.Dave noticed the guitar and I told him the killer deal I got I had less than 5 bills invested in a guitar that could easily fetch 3 grand were I to sell it(I never will) Dave told me that when Skellator found out I bought his old guitar he was totally bummed. From that time on every time he'd see me he'd say "Hows my guitar" I'd reply "It plays like melted butter and IT AIN"T YOUR GUITAR ANYMORE"! This was the best deal I ever got and every time I've pulled that thing out of the case it turns heads. I have a pair of beautiful guitars that I had custom made for me. For a number of years I played an ESP Tiger stripped strat that I had out fitted with EMG pickups and a Floyd Rose trem system. The Floyd revolutionized guitar playing in the 80's because Mr Floyd designed a double locking tremolo bar that gave guys like Eddie Van Halen nthe ability to do dive bombs and the such on the guitar and keep it dead in tune. You can literally drop the bar all the way down till the strings are slack and they will pop back in tune. I have a friend who was living in Seattle back in the late 70's when Floyd walked into the music store he was working at. He had a proto type of the devise on a strat. He was looking for a partner to back him. The owner blew him off. I remember my friend telling the owner that millions of dollars just walked out the front door. Less than a year later Floyd gave an early proto type to Eddie and boom the rest was history. Wish I'd been there for that. I've been using them non-stop since 1983. My Warmoth guitars are killer. 5 AAA maple tops. The kind of wood you find on high end furniture. Birds eye maple necks. These are my classic rock working guitars. I sold my tiger stripped guitar and had the first Warmoth built. It is an emerald green color with black hardware. It went thru 3 sets of pick ups before this happened. Chris told me one day he had a set of used EMGS that he could put in there. Funny haw certain Mojo can follow guitars. When I got the guitar back I looked at those pickups and noticed that the edge of the middle one was slightly wore. They turned out to be the first set of EMGs that had been in my tiger stripped ESP! that guy who bought it had new pickups put in. The moment I plugged in I had my old sound!. That guitar has been a serious trooper. Never EVER had any neck issues,stays in tune fine and plays like a dream..my 'Emerald Princess". George Benson was my introduction to the world of Jazz. I remember seeing him for the first time in the late 70's on the Midnight Special. I tuned in that night cuz one of my other guitar hers was on that night Calos Santana. I'm watching and out steps this cool well dressed black guy holding this big fat hollow body. Who proceeds to blow me away with his rendition on Leon Russel's "This Masquerade" I had never heard that kind of music before. I ran out and bought "Breezin" ,"In Flight" and "Weekend In LA" My affection for his music would lead me deep into the world of Jazz and the likes of Miles Davis,Coletrane,Parker,Duke Ellington ad Joe Pass. These days I play more of that than anything else. My Jazz guitar is an Ibanez George Benson model. I like them because they are a smaller body easier to play and you don't have the feed back problems the bigger boxes do. For years I couldn't bring myself to buy "just a jazz guitar" because I was only a closet jazzer. The bulk of my gigs were blues and classic rock gigs. But once again I found myself ina pawn shop and noticed a Polytone guitar amp for sale...40 bucks!! the same amp George uses. It was broke but 40 bucks come on!. So I bought it had it repaired and for less that 300 nI had a 600 jazz amp!...but no guitar to go along with it. I had owned a George Benson prior to attending school in LA but I sold back to the guy I bought it from cuz at that time I really couldn't play jazz. I went down to the local music store where I had been doing business for years and years. I had noticed some Ibanez hollow bodies but when I got there they had been sold. I had a "casual" conversation about the Benson with Mark the owner. A few days later I stopped in and there was a brand new one sitting there. I had made no comment about buying one but Mark said.."Here Steve take it home and play it and see what you think". It was the most expensive guitar I would ever buy. 1850.00. But as soon as I played it I was hooked. Mark worked a deal for 1350 and payments. Right after that I got a ton of Jazz gigs. The guitar paid for itself in less than 6 months. The Polytone eventually crapped out and was replaced with a Fender DSP Deluxe and that guitar with that amp is a marriage made in heaven. I sound like a cross between George and Pat Methany attempting to play like Joe Pass. I'll finish this with the story of "Red Dogg". In the early 80's I heard Eddie Van Halen for the first time. It was like hearing Hendrix,nothing in the guitar world could lead up to that and nothing would ever be the same afterward.The way he did dive bombs,pick squeels,the hugeness of his "Brown"sound. It blew me totally out of the water. I went out and bought a Fender mustang,only to find that one touch of the trem bar put it horribly out of tune. As I was preparing to move to LA I came across a redish copy of a strat. I think I got it for 250.00. With a standard strat I still couldn't get his sound. Then one day I was sitting around and noticed that I had a humbucking pickup from an old Les Paul I no longer owned. So I went over to a buddy of mines and had him remove the single coil bridge pickup,route the body and pick guard and install this humbucker. Soon as we restrung it,tuned it and plugged into my amp, I hit one power chord!!!CRUNCH HEAVEN!!!Almost EDDIE!!!. Not long after that I left to go to LA. The first couple of weeks in school we took a bus to Fullerton's and visited the Fender factory. One of my classmate got a couple of Fender Statocastor headstock stickers(rare in those days) He gave me one. By this time the original next had warped beyond repair. I had found this little shop down the street from the School. LA GUITAR WORKS. Run by these two oriental guys. Jimmy could do anything with a guitar you wanted. I had them install a new neck and painted the headstock to match the body. They replaced the white pick guard with a black one and put in Seymore Duncan Hot Rails then replaced the humbucker with a Jeff Beck Signature humbucker. They also installed my first Floyd. They were near impossible to get in LA then due to supply and demand. Hence was born "RED DOGG"! A guitar that would serve me well over the next 10 years,Thru 2 cd's,a tour,tons of gigs...unfortunately I would lose him and my beloved PRS to a nasty divorce...sometimes I think I should have a replica of the dogg made...maybe someday.
Friends,Brothers and Sisters.
I have been greatly blessed and loved by the people God has brought into my life. Oddly you never know that from a casual conversation a lifelong friendship can grow. Some friends are like the trees of the forest of my life. Oaks that weather the changes of the seasons the good times and bad. Always there, unchanging and dependable. Some friends come along for a short season, much like a summer rose, they bloom and bring a wonderful fragrance and beauty to your life for a time then they are gone. Leaving you with a lasting memory of your time with them. I've been blessed to have a handful of brothers and sisters. These are men and weman that started out as "hang out" teenagers who I've grown old with. Many have become grand parents. Good people who I could call on anytime for a chat a pray or just a simple laugh. Let me share two examples of friends some life long some seasonal. Main Junior high early 70's walking down the hall on a day they declared would be "wear your clothes backwards"day. Being a stoner and too cool I wasn't gonna partake. I was still getting over being expelled for long hair and I hated that school. walking down the hall coming my way was this guy named Randy...wearing his stuff backwards. Left an amused impression on me. I forget our first meeting it was probably during a pot smoked moment behind the school with all the other stoners. A year or so later I got SERIOUSLY saved! Holy Ghost saved and back then I would share Christ with everyone and just about everything that wasn't nailed down or glued to the wall. One day at school I spent most of the lunch period telling Randy about his need for Jesus. That night he called me at home "HOW DO I GET SAVED?"..."When you were talking to me today I wanted to do it right then and there".".Easy, ask Jesus to forgive you and come into your heart"..OK "click"..a few moments later he calls back.."Ain't I suppose to feel something?" "Ya, that's what happened to me"..".I ain't feeling a thing"...huuum...go do it again"...click...then he calls back and I reassure him we walk by faith not feeling and if he confessed Christ he was in fact SAVED! Randy and I would become involved in the One way In and the early years at the Lighthouse Christian Center. He and I would sit for hours and play music. I would learn my first licks on the guitar with him. I would be best man at his wedding and he would return the favor with my second ex-wife. From mere pups to aged old men we have been brothers and I count myself blessed to have known him. My last few years in Alaska Allison and I got to know this guy who used to deliver mail to the music store she ran. My guitar tech kept telling me about these dinner parties he and Roscoe were having. Roscoe was a total expert on wine and fine food and just one of the coolest guys we had met in a long time. Schedules finally permitted us to attend a meal at his home where we ate and amazing meal. I drank my first class of 300.00 wine and he ,Chris my tech , and myself played some jazz(he played congas) He was a wonderful guy to hang out with,talk about food,wine ,books and music. I was playing a gig at this greek resturaunt a few months later when I called Chris and asked him to bring our wwine expert buddy along(I needed a drummer and bass player that night) Little did I know that that night I would be fullfilling a lifelong dream for Roscoe. He had always dreamed of playing on stage with real pro musicians. I recall He and Chris were looking over the wine with a rather critical eye when I sat down and said"I'll take the house Merlot"...Ross looks at me with a very concerned expression(kinda like a teacher concerned over a failing student) and says"Steve..we have to talk" That night we got up and played jazz and had a great time. He grinned ear to ear all night. When we were done I told him we would do it again soon. I'm sitting at home a week later when Chris calles me and says.."Roscoe has died! He daughter found him in his study inhis chair, heart attack"!!He was a mere 48. Allison and I attended his funeral and we all met at Levlles Bistro where he had helped the owners with the most well stocked wine cellar in all of Alaska. Frank the owner named the cellar atfter him in lew of his passing. I walked away that day with to few memories of my wonderful friend but like the rose thankful for the season I knew him and the feeling I was made a better and wiser(at least in my choice of the wine I drink)man for having known him. In the end..it is not our worldly goods we take to heaven it is all the people we love and who love us in return...I tip my glass to you my friend..God bless you.
My Bible.
In 1973 I had my then girlfriend and her mom drive me over to the Good News Bible and Book store. There I bought my second bible. My first being a green hard cover "Living Bible" a paraphrase version. I call it "Bible Light" the starter kit for a new believer. On this day I purchased a blue leather bound King James version Thompson Chain reference. Non-red letter addition with thumb guides to find the books of the Bible with ease. It not only looked good but I remember the smell of that leather. Now I had graduated from the "milk" to the "MEAT"...face it folks the Bible can be a tuff read. Without God's spirit you can easily get stuck in the weeds of thees and thous and who beget who. But under God's anointing His Word will jump off the page and change your life. I know it changed mine. In 1973 I was a mere lad of 17. I am now in my 50's. I have somehow kept that Bible with me all these years. I look at it now and see a "Life". Like me it has weathered many a storm. Still in remarkably good shape considering how old it is. Like my 1977 Martin D-28 that I bought new off the rack, It has gotten sweeter with age. I look at my bible and see my life. Many of the thumb guides printing has wore away from use(Pauls Epistles,the book of Proverbs,Psalms)Many of the pages were tore and repaired with tape that has grown yellow with age. I can see the stains from the time I dropped it in the mud. As I leaf threw it's pages I see a young man's journey. Books and passages marked in yellow pen with notes that tell where I was at in any point of my life then. As I reread certain passages and see what I underlined it takes me back to that day. Sitting in a coffee shop with Bible and note book. I read the Book of Hebrews where I learned the difference for the first time of the reason for a new testament. It was late at night and I was living with my lifelong friends Randy and Edy in a spare room. Other pages remind me of sitting in a shack,working as a flagman during the Trans Alaska pipeline days. I look at the first 4 books and see all the scriptures marked where I would learn how God dealt with the Children Of Isreal. I would embrace these truths and would see my life in them..deliverence from Egypt(salvation,the Promise) mount Sinai where they recieve the Law(princples) the wilderness where they are tested(problem) And finally the river Jordan and Cannan(the Provision) the law of the four P's something I learned from Bob Mumford. Years later I would stumble upon a Bible teacher from Scotland named Graham Cook who would use the life of Joseph in a simalar fashion. The Law of the 4 D's Declaration,Distress,Developement and finally Demonstartion..I seek my "Joseph Moment" that moment where God had been prepairing him his whole life to stand before Pharoh. With the act of Pharoh removing his signat ring from his hand and placing it on the finger of Joseph. All that Joseph had suffered, endured and learned would now be focused and used for a former slave to save an entire nation..from ex-con to vice president!!(to put it in modern terms)I look at the life of Abraham who would be the father of Faith and I would learn the Covenenat God made with him and what that would mean to me. I see my life in the pages of this old book. Like me it was fresh and new in 1973. It now has the look of age and wear on it much like me..grizzled and wore yet still whole and in good shape...my Bible,my Life...His Word.
Jackson Square
Here in New Orleans down in the Quarter is a square called "Jackson Square". A park of sorts placed in front of a church acros from Cafe Dumont. It is a place where artists,street performers and musicans hang out and sell there stuff. There are several shops, galleries and some very fine resturaunts there as well. One I especially like is Stanley's. I had the best eggs "Stanley" I ever had. Eggs benedict served with deep fried oysters and a sause that was nearly plate licking good. Yesterday I walked around checking the place out from a point of veiw that I may want to do something there. I have never been one to perform on the street. It's really not my scene but having no sucess in finding regular work and recently having sold my first 3 paintings I thought I would look into it. I have begun to think of this as if were a hot dog vendor. Instead of hot dogs I sell cd's music and art. Jackson Square attract a ton of tourists. You can catch a ride on donkey driven carriages that give you a tour of the quarter,you can have a beigent at Cafe Dumont and partake of the world famous muffalta sandwich at the shop where they were invented. You purchase a peddlers licence at citly hall for 175.00 a year. What may make me a bit odd is I'm primarily a musician who has discovered (albeit late in life) a talent for painting. At the square it's either or, rarely both. I have given this some thought. I would have to purchase a battery powered amp,fold up guitar and music stand and a peddle version of the loop station I use at the gallery gig. A loop pedal is ths marvelous device that allows me to play a passage up to 12 minutes long and let it repeat indefinatly. What I do in the solo jazz gigs I play is comp the chord progression of any jazz standard, set the loop and as it plays back I play the melody then solo over the changes. The newer ones come with 30 different drum patterns too so it's like a trio in a box! Getting to the square may be a challenge. We only have one car so the wife takes it to work. I have several painting on unstretched canvas so they can be rolled up. The artists down there hang their art off the fence that surrounds the park,usually on string or bungee chords. I have an old suit case that has wheels that I think is large enough to fit the amp,stands,tip jar and,paintings. I think I can get that, me and my guitar on the street car to get there and have the wife pick me up after work. To do all this is a bit of an out lay of cash I really don't have but the potential to earn some scratch and get a good tan looks good.
I had stumbled onto a gallery that may take in some more of my paintings. When I left I walked down Royal street where it was located and heard this guy playing the clarinet. He was very good. Royal street is where most the musicians hang out and play. I wandered around a bit more checking out some of the art galleries(I found most of the people working there frankly to be stuck up and snooty) as I returned to the square before heading home I noticed the clarinetist had been joined by a tuba player. Big Black fella with a deep rich voice. As I stood there they began to play this very very soul full version of "Just a Closer Walk with Thee"The clairenet slipping and sliding between the melody and counter point. The the Tuba player began to sing...It brought tears of joy to my eyes!...once again this amazing city presented me with a moment,a gift an embrace..As I stood there in momentary worship to God my phone rang..My sister calling from Alaska to see how I was doing. I held up the phone as I put a dollar in the tip jar and shared this moment with her..I am so blessed to be living here.
I had stumbled onto a gallery that may take in some more of my paintings. When I left I walked down Royal street where it was located and heard this guy playing the clarinet. He was very good. Royal street is where most the musicians hang out and play. I wandered around a bit more checking out some of the art galleries(I found most of the people working there frankly to be stuck up and snooty) as I returned to the square before heading home I noticed the clarinetist had been joined by a tuba player. Big Black fella with a deep rich voice. As I stood there they began to play this very very soul full version of "Just a Closer Walk with Thee"The clairenet slipping and sliding between the melody and counter point. The the Tuba player began to sing...It brought tears of joy to my eyes!...once again this amazing city presented me with a moment,a gift an embrace..As I stood there in momentary worship to God my phone rang..My sister calling from Alaska to see how I was doing. I held up the phone as I put a dollar in the tip jar and shared this moment with her..I am so blessed to be living here.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A Fathers Farewell.
My father passed away peacefully in his sleep at the age of 85. He was a decorated WW2 hero, master plasterer and the father of 5. How do you sum up the affect that fathers have on you? No parent is perfect. My Dad survived the Great Depression and out lived 12 siblings. What I learned from him in my life has colored nearly everything I've become. What I learned early was the importance of hard work and a committment to excellence. My dad had no patience for shoddy half-assed work regardless of what it was, be it sweeping a floor or building a home. Eric Clapton and I have this comon thread between us. We were both raised by plasterers. I grew up watching my Father walk into a shack and leave a thing of beuty when he was done. He had learned his trade from my Grand father and a string of old school german guys. There was nothing he couldn't do with a hawk and trowl. I took his attitude of excellence,hard work and dependability into my life as a musician. I worked hard at learning my"trade". It has led me down many roads and has been a wonderful life. Choosing that life was no easy task. You give up the white picket fence life for that of a road less traveled. I took a lot of heat from family,friends, girl friends, wives...in the end like my the supreme joy of the work was what sustained me. In the weeks that led up to his passing my two daughters visited him on sepatate occations. At this time Dad was going down hill, not eating much and having trouble remembering things. Yet he told both my daughters how much my music ment to him,how proud of me he was for becomming the musician I was and how even at the start he was always OK with my choice. A wonderful parting gift. Dad had paid a son the greatest compliment once by telling me that I was to the guitar what he had been to his trade..one of the best!. I recall many a time when Dad would ask me to play for him. He'd say "Stevie...Stevie...give us a tune". I'd play and he'd look at whoever was there and go"That's my Boy"..
As I sat next to my Dad's casket with guitar in hand ,feeling deeply emotional to play for him one last time. I reflected on so many times I had done so in my life. As friends and family passed by I quietly played "Misty" for him...one of his favorites. Tears and laughter followed as we all reflected and told stories of this man's life and impact on all. As I left I stood to see him one last time. A man once so full of life,laughter and love now gone to be with God and family..I reached over and placed a guitar pick in the pocket of his suit..a final gift from a son who will always remember..."Stevie..give us a tune" I love you Dad..thank you...
As I sat next to my Dad's casket with guitar in hand ,feeling deeply emotional to play for him one last time. I reflected on so many times I had done so in my life. As friends and family passed by I quietly played "Misty" for him...one of his favorites. Tears and laughter followed as we all reflected and told stories of this man's life and impact on all. As I left I stood to see him one last time. A man once so full of life,laughter and love now gone to be with God and family..I reached over and placed a guitar pick in the pocket of his suit..a final gift from a son who will always remember..."Stevie..give us a tune" I love you Dad..thank you...
Monday, April 12, 2010
School Daze.
Memories of my year at the Musicians Institute. 1983 in Los Angeles. Hollywood was to put it mildly was a mind blowing experience. I was 28 and newly married with a child on it's way. A struggle to say the least. But here are some of my fondest moments. Daily walking around the school I would hear some of the most amazing guitar playing and see some of the weridest people. There was one guy who I swear spent the whole year in the student lounge,smoking and noodling on his guitar. I never saw him in any class or performance. There was this kid with long greasy hair who had such perfect pitch that he paid his rent learning solos off records for fellow students. There was a guy from Iceland who started playing guitar the same year I was born. As I walked the halls it was hard to stand out amoung so many excellent musicians. It would only be latter that my education there would really help me excell once I returned home to Alaska.
The teachers were an interesting collection as well. My chord melody teacher was from New Orleans which I find odd now that I live here. I recall sitting in class next to these three guys from New York. They were all dressed out in spandex with long hair and these bright colored pointy guitars while Ron the teacher is standing in front of the class with a seven string Benedetto custom made Jazz guitar trying to explain how to play "Misty" solo. The sat there slack jawed with that "Deer in the Headlights"look. We had a teacher named Les Wise who taught the Jazz improve and BeBop classes. Les papered us to death. He would have this table with piles of notes on licks,motifs and all types of improve stuff. I kept it all and 25 years later still look back on some of it now and again. Going to his class was funny cus he approached eat lecture like a science teacher except he stood there with a guitar hanging off him. Our sight reading teacher was this loon who was an ivy league grad. Charlie was one of the funniest guys in school and the best sight reader I ever met. He also taught this class we had on "Music Video Training". This was the dawn of MTV so the school wanted to train us in that medium. We spent a lot of time goofing around in front of a camera and standing in front of the class doing werid exercises that Charlie came up with. The one I share here was one of the funnest and fondest I remember. We were learning how to lip sinc to a series of short music clips(two minutes) One of the clips was the Police "Every little thing she does is magic". There were a dozen or so tunes to pic from.I did something by ZZ Top. A lot of the class picked the Police. Let me tell you how this went down..as each student started doing the song unprompted the other students started getting up and goofing behind the guy lip sycing. As the class moved on more and more students jumped up and when the chorus "Every little thing she does is magic" kicked in the whole class would be dancing behind whoever was singing throwing papers scarves in the air and someone had produced liquid string and was spraying that everywhere. It was such a spontanious out brake of joy that I stood there thanking God for the chance of being there and seeing this.
The teachers were an interesting collection as well. My chord melody teacher was from New Orleans which I find odd now that I live here. I recall sitting in class next to these three guys from New York. They were all dressed out in spandex with long hair and these bright colored pointy guitars while Ron the teacher is standing in front of the class with a seven string Benedetto custom made Jazz guitar trying to explain how to play "Misty" solo. The sat there slack jawed with that "Deer in the Headlights"look. We had a teacher named Les Wise who taught the Jazz improve and BeBop classes. Les papered us to death. He would have this table with piles of notes on licks,motifs and all types of improve stuff. I kept it all and 25 years later still look back on some of it now and again. Going to his class was funny cus he approached eat lecture like a science teacher except he stood there with a guitar hanging off him. Our sight reading teacher was this loon who was an ivy league grad. Charlie was one of the funniest guys in school and the best sight reader I ever met. He also taught this class we had on "Music Video Training". This was the dawn of MTV so the school wanted to train us in that medium. We spent a lot of time goofing around in front of a camera and standing in front of the class doing werid exercises that Charlie came up with. The one I share here was one of the funnest and fondest I remember. We were learning how to lip sinc to a series of short music clips(two minutes) One of the clips was the Police "Every little thing she does is magic". There were a dozen or so tunes to pic from.I did something by ZZ Top. A lot of the class picked the Police. Let me tell you how this went down..as each student started doing the song unprompted the other students started getting up and goofing behind the guy lip sycing. As the class moved on more and more students jumped up and when the chorus "Every little thing she does is magic" kicked in the whole class would be dancing behind whoever was singing throwing papers scarves in the air and someone had produced liquid string and was spraying that everywhere. It was such a spontanious out brake of joy that I stood there thanking God for the chance of being there and seeing this.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Festivals for any reason whatsoever and deep fried wondermiss eats!
Things I love about NOLA....you can walk anywhere and drink. And they throw a festival for any reason..a fest equals food,music and fun. Today is the Italian fest and parade. Last week was the Irish parade where they dressed in green and threw cabbage and potatoes at the crowd. next week they are having a Tennesee Williams fest. They have a "STELLA!!!!!" shout off like the movie "Street Car named Desire"....love this town..wish I felt better to get out more. Allison and I had lunch at yet another amazing hole in the wall. Jack Dempsey. Piles of deep fried wondermiss eats. Whoever did the cooking there sure knew his stuff. I had the red fish platter with mac and cheeze. Crisp and crunchy on the outside and dripping juicey inside. Allison had the combo half fried oysters and catfish. Oyster she gave me was to die for,crisp crunchy,and when you bit into it it exploded with briny juice. I am a SLAVE to oysters!!!Been noticing the shrimp at the stores have been comming in really large,fat and pink..yum.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Travels on Trolly
The last two days I had to visit the clinic. I road the trolly. Interesting riding the trolly with the people of NOLA. Lots of poor,black folk. I catch the ride back in front of "40 ouncer" pit stop. Lotta guys standing around drinking out of brown paper bags. Today I sat next to an elder black man who said he was 90 years old. He looked good for his age. These are just the wonderful salt of the earth types who give this city such a vibrant interesting soul. Yesterday I noticed this fella who was dressed all in green. He was an older man with a shaved head,wearing gold rimmed glasses. He was doned with a green derby,light green shirt,green tie, three piece green pinstrip suit with matching green socks and shoes. Striking. Today as I road back from my doctors visit I saw the same guy in the next car. Today he was imcauletly dressed in an off color suit with a marron strips and matching tie,doned by a straw hat. Who is this man? Maybe he's retired and just spends his day showing off his wardrobe on the trolly?...This is such and interesting city.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Why ask Why and Faith vs Fear.
I am married to a very amazing woman. Absolutley the sharpest, smartest woman I've ever known and it is an honor to share a life with her. She challenges me way of thinking all the time,especially on spirtual matters. It is good for me. I wonder at times if believers really know what they believe and why. Just tonight Allison told me she thought early on in my Christain life I had been sold a bill of goods that didn't stand up to reality. It's refreshing having someone say that. She and I couldn't come from backgrounds more different. She grew up in a good normal Christain family..I got saved thru the Jesus people movment and prior to that the only time I ever heard my Dad pray was twice a year. Holidays. There was no religion in my up bringing. So when I stumbled into all this..I knew NOTHING. Except I had had an encounter with Christ that utterly changed everything about me. Allison went to a Methodist church. Just good people trying to serve God and help each other along the way. I got filled with Spirit and wound up smack dab in the middle of the Charismatic movement back then. Frankly as a "Jesus Freak" we all had a bit of mis trust to standard churchhes and frankly many of them didn't really know what to do with long haired ex whatevers to find a place for us. A buddy of mine once said he felt like our generation was a bit lost and not sure where we fit into the big picture. Charimatics preach a lot of stuff. Living in health,wealth and victory every day. I learned a long time ago to stop asking "Why". In my trials I've tried to see things in this light,"What is it here that I can learn and become a better person"I've been divorced twice, Been homeless,broke and near out of my mind with grief over loss. But on the other hand I've had times of wonderful joy and have felt loved and accepted. I guess at my age I spend time looking back taking stock. Seasons. The Bible says to everything there is a season. I believe in my life so much of what I've been thru and learned is a preparation for what God ultimatly has for me to do. I've studied the lives of many successful people. Looking for a common thread. I'm still looking. A very strange thing happened starting in 06. I lost interest in playing music. I still played but somewhere there the joy and passion vanished. It scared me. Music had been a defining factor in my life since I was a kid. It was because of music that I learned so many other things. I really didn't know what to do with myself. So I studied wealth. I read all kinds of books about everything on the subject. Spent hours learning about investing. I studied the rich. What makes them different than us. If there was a common thread is they look at money way different than I do. They started young collecting and working. I have known a few in my life who just seem to have a knack at making money. A tallent I wish I had. I did get this. It is a skill that can be learned. Finally at the end I came to this..I'm a musican, I really am more concerned about the down beat than the bottom line. Allison and I talk sometimes about it. I tell her if we ever won the lottery it would scare the hell out of me. She is always catching me and pointing out how I talk myself out of success. She is good for me.
The Bible says the just shall live by faith. Here is what I have learned about a Christain approach to wealth. It's really not ours. We are simply stewards over what God gives us. We may toil in the field and benefit from it but He is the owner. I've seen to many times where to much success can destroy a life. As with anything not enough causes suffering to much can to. Fear. I've had it snap at my soul my whole life. I have experienced amazing instances of God's provision. All my years in LA there were time after time God provided. Here is one I'll share. I was going thru this horrible divorce. I had lost everything. I was sleeping on my sisters couch in Anchorage at the time. I had come back from Fairbanks after another vain attempt to reconcile with my future ex-wife. Why in the face of all the pain and betrayal she had heaped I couldn't say. But there I was. My brother In-law was busy with his business and my sister was sick at the hospital. I was so broke I had to hitch hike home. To add insult to injury my leather jacket zipper had broke and it was 20 below. I was miserable. My older sister had given me a new Bible and for some reason I had it on me as I stood shivering on the side of the road. I noticed a truck had pulled over so I ran up and jumped in. There was this latino guy who saw my bible and asked if I was a believer(even though at the time I felt like anything but)I said yes. He said he never picks up hitch hikers but God told him to pick me up.(I was thankful cuz I was really cold) So we started talking and I opened up about what I was going thru. This brother whose name I never even got had a Word from God me(for all I knew he could have been an angel in disguise)He said two things..One,that if my wife didn't repent and straighten up in time God would hand pick someone else for me and that He was going to begin as the bible says"Make the Crooked ways Strait" This was like someone throwing a drownding man life saver. I felt God's peace and despite all I was suffering I felt his hand upon my shoulder. The brother even gave me a ride right up to my sisters door. Precious are moments like that. Within a few weeks I returned to Fairbanks and was offered a fulltime possition at the mental health place I had been doing relief work for which gave me the income to rebuild my life. I did finally finish my divorce.The benefits helped pay for 3 years of therapy that helped heal me and in time I met and married this truly amazing woman. Allison my best friend and true soul mate. the Bible says He will never leave us nor forsake us. That day truly proved that to me. God is good. Praise Him...amen
The Bible says the just shall live by faith. Here is what I have learned about a Christain approach to wealth. It's really not ours. We are simply stewards over what God gives us. We may toil in the field and benefit from it but He is the owner. I've seen to many times where to much success can destroy a life. As with anything not enough causes suffering to much can to. Fear. I've had it snap at my soul my whole life. I have experienced amazing instances of God's provision. All my years in LA there were time after time God provided. Here is one I'll share. I was going thru this horrible divorce. I had lost everything. I was sleeping on my sisters couch in Anchorage at the time. I had come back from Fairbanks after another vain attempt to reconcile with my future ex-wife. Why in the face of all the pain and betrayal she had heaped I couldn't say. But there I was. My brother In-law was busy with his business and my sister was sick at the hospital. I was so broke I had to hitch hike home. To add insult to injury my leather jacket zipper had broke and it was 20 below. I was miserable. My older sister had given me a new Bible and for some reason I had it on me as I stood shivering on the side of the road. I noticed a truck had pulled over so I ran up and jumped in. There was this latino guy who saw my bible and asked if I was a believer(even though at the time I felt like anything but)I said yes. He said he never picks up hitch hikers but God told him to pick me up.(I was thankful cuz I was really cold) So we started talking and I opened up about what I was going thru. This brother whose name I never even got had a Word from God me(for all I knew he could have been an angel in disguise)He said two things..One,that if my wife didn't repent and straighten up in time God would hand pick someone else for me and that He was going to begin as the bible says"Make the Crooked ways Strait" This was like someone throwing a drownding man life saver. I felt God's peace and despite all I was suffering I felt his hand upon my shoulder. The brother even gave me a ride right up to my sisters door. Precious are moments like that. Within a few weeks I returned to Fairbanks and was offered a fulltime possition at the mental health place I had been doing relief work for which gave me the income to rebuild my life. I did finally finish my divorce.The benefits helped pay for 3 years of therapy that helped heal me and in time I met and married this truly amazing woman. Allison my best friend and true soul mate. the Bible says He will never leave us nor forsake us. That day truly proved that to me. God is good. Praise Him...amen
God's People and Me.
I am 54. I have been a "Born Again,Spirit Filled" Christian since the age of 15. I'm pushing 40 years. All my life. At 17 God called my to music. In a very unconventional way. It has been an honor but a trial too. I've played so much music,written so many songs. I've played for Govenors,Senitors and simple folk as well. Saints and sinners. Just about everything in between. It has been difficult in my relationship with God's people to explain what I do,why I'm doing it and the daily struggles I encounter to keep doing it. This "Rock and Roll Cross" I carry at times is light as a feather other times heavy as threshing stone. I think all servents with a call on their lives feel the same way at times. My wife Allison and I share (amoung other things) this thing I call "the loneliness of being different". In all my Christian journey there was only one fellowship I went to that seemed to understand. I was living in LA and we started to attend Pasedena Four Square. The pastor there was someone who made a deep and lasting impression on me. Ralf Torrez. Ralf had been raised up under Jack Hayford of Church on the Way. He was the youth pastor for many year. That period of my life I had been going thru one hard time after another. Of all the pastors I've had he was the only one who understood that our struggles were not for lack of character but rather a season of testing. This was something so basic to the Christain walk that I wondered why it seemed to excape everyone else. It is sad when your brethern make life that much harder by the insults and put downs. Ralf and his church will forever hold a tender place in my soul.
Community. The yearning to be a part of a family. My problem was growing up I had a scewwed perspective on family. During the 70's and early 80's my home church empraced the "Sheparding/Accountability"movement espoused by such bible teachers as Bob Mumford,Don Bashum. I still hold these guys in very high regard. I profitted greatly in my walk from their teaching but the practical day to day application of "being covered" and "accountable"...frankly was just to damn harsh. I remember telling a friend that I felt like going to church was like punching a time card. I think this was the first crack in my relationship to God's people. I began to lose something there. When I first got saved I was in church every time the doors were open. There was such Joy in worshipping God. I was so hungry then for His Word. I loved everybody and everybody loved me. I was young I know,but then it was a special time. It became a point of going to church out of obligation rather than joy. And for a guy like me it got boring. I began to feel like the shoes no longer fit.
When I returned to Alaska after 8 years in LA I came back home a very different person than who had left. I was now a professional musician. I had school,records and a tour under my belt. It was then that I stepped into the life of a working musician. Problem was the hours kept me away from church. I was also mired in a horrible marriage that had been coming apart for years. Between the two I stumbled and stumbled hard. The next thing you know 14 years had gone by. I had maintained many of my relationships with my brethern I just got real skiddish and gun shy when being around to many of them. Here is a case in point. I'm sitting in a church once in LA during a revival. Sitting there minding my own business just as saved as I'd ever been yet here comes some well meaning believer who starts sharing Christ with me..I guess I look like a sinner. What it has been for me all these years is frankly fitting in. I just couldn't relate to the average pew sitting church goer. It's not that I feel in any way shape or form superior. Just different.
I've said all that to say this..I repent. I feel guilty for all those years of not being a productive member of a fellowship. But in a real sence I became a victum of the charismatic movement. Starting with the shame and guilt producing Sheparding movement and ending with my divorce. So maybe I'll take my wives advice..go to a "nice" church..well enough of my rant today..on ward Christian soilders.
Community. The yearning to be a part of a family. My problem was growing up I had a scewwed perspective on family. During the 70's and early 80's my home church empraced the "Sheparding/Accountability"movement espoused by such bible teachers as Bob Mumford,Don Bashum. I still hold these guys in very high regard. I profitted greatly in my walk from their teaching but the practical day to day application of "being covered" and "accountable"...frankly was just to damn harsh. I remember telling a friend that I felt like going to church was like punching a time card. I think this was the first crack in my relationship to God's people. I began to lose something there. When I first got saved I was in church every time the doors were open. There was such Joy in worshipping God. I was so hungry then for His Word. I loved everybody and everybody loved me. I was young I know,but then it was a special time. It became a point of going to church out of obligation rather than joy. And for a guy like me it got boring. I began to feel like the shoes no longer fit.
When I returned to Alaska after 8 years in LA I came back home a very different person than who had left. I was now a professional musician. I had school,records and a tour under my belt. It was then that I stepped into the life of a working musician. Problem was the hours kept me away from church. I was also mired in a horrible marriage that had been coming apart for years. Between the two I stumbled and stumbled hard. The next thing you know 14 years had gone by. I had maintained many of my relationships with my brethern I just got real skiddish and gun shy when being around to many of them. Here is a case in point. I'm sitting in a church once in LA during a revival. Sitting there minding my own business just as saved as I'd ever been yet here comes some well meaning believer who starts sharing Christ with me..I guess I look like a sinner. What it has been for me all these years is frankly fitting in. I just couldn't relate to the average pew sitting church goer. It's not that I feel in any way shape or form superior. Just different.
I've said all that to say this..I repent. I feel guilty for all those years of not being a productive member of a fellowship. But in a real sence I became a victum of the charismatic movement. Starting with the shame and guilt producing Sheparding movement and ending with my divorce. So maybe I'll take my wives advice..go to a "nice" church..well enough of my rant today..on ward Christian soilders.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Southern Weather and the life of an Artist
I was sitting here this eveing with Allison. We had just finished cooking fried chiken in a cast iron fry pan(to give it that true southern vibe) I have been trying the last several years to perfect my fried chicken. I figured a close appoximation of KFC's 11 herbs and spices was simple. 2 packs of dry Italian salad dressing mix,powered tomato soup mix,paprika,both onion and garlic powder,a touch of cayanne pepper and along with the flour mix a tad bit of Masa corn flour. Once we got done we sat on our couch and heard thunder. Allison looked outside just as lightening was beginning to strike then came the down pour. For someone from Alaska this remains a trip to me. It was then I got sick again...couldn't eat a thing without throwing up..I will be happy when I recover. I've never been so sick. It truly sucks.
I sit here late at night some nights and wonder. All those years in AK. wondering what the future holds. When oh God when will I be released. Well here we are. NOLA. The most unique city I've ever been to let alone lived in..what adventures lie in store here?
The big question for an artist. How do you make money at this? I really have no clue. The music business has changed in ways I thought I'd never see. Technology has made that possible. Anyone with a shoe string budget can produce a good sounding cd and with that same cd can produce a video to go along with your music and put it on you tube. I started to paint My blog is in the process of becoming a book(I have a writer friend back in AK who is editing my stuff as I type this) the painting is something so new. Something I had been thinking of doing for a long time. All these creative things...I see the same gifts in my daughter Jessica. Honestly I think she has far more talent than I. My son Jeremy plays guitar so much better at his age than I did at the same age as he. All these things.I prepared for years for this on one level or another but I didn't take this into consideration. Age. I wasn't planning on getting old.Compared to many others I'm not "old" but if you are reading this it is coming from a middle aged musician in his 50's. One of my favorite movies right now is "The story of Anvil" a story of a heavy metal band that has been at it for 30 years and has yet to "make it" Music makes me happy. Getting on stage makes me happy. Much like them that was(and is) my story too. I'm one of those guitar players that "should have been" it is so hard to out run "Should have been"or should be. the reality is right now I'm not but this story is not on it's final chapter there is yet to be an epolog. Mine has not been written.
I have been thru love and it's loss. I've had nights of glory and moments deep deep sadness. I have felt lost and so utterly alone and lonely. I have moments filled with overwhelming love. There has been so much I have survived. So many times my life has burned down in front of me and I have somehow found the will to rebuild again.
Here is the struggle. I find at my age I don't want the struggles of a 20 or even a 30 something. I am alarmed at the loss of ambition and drive I once had. Yet I still live under the shadow of "Should". A therapist whose book I was reading once said "Should are Shame statements" shoulda,coulda,woulda,..screw it all. What will my history say? Screw my credit rating, screw my retirement,screw all the thingrthat 99% of the rest of the world worships...and they worship "SECURITY" if the fall out of the economy has shown us anything it's the people you trusted to care for your golden years were just plain crooks and stole your money. I passed on alot to "GO ALL IN" I walked away from a state job in AK where had I stayed I would have been covered for life with health benefits. Problem was I was no good at the job. A preacher I heard once said security is the enemy of faith...maybe that is the real issue here. This world or the other world.
The Bible says the just shall live by faith. Jesus said a lot on the subject of God caring for our daily needs. I have experienced miraculess times of God's provision. Truly amazing. My years in Southern California was a time like that. It is built into me thanks to those days to soilder on. Yet my feet arn't as fleet as they once were,my eye sight not as sharp and my energy not what it once was. So what do I have. Something only a guy with the time I have under my belt would. EXPERIENCE. and maybe wisdom. A few years back I spent 5 days getting reaquianted with guys I used to play with. I stood outside one night talking to one of them and frankly I was shocked at the almost lack of growth I saw in him. 20 years had gone by. I would have expected more. I have a few friends back in AK like that. They seem frozen. Suspended in time. I told my sister that I had been having the same conversation with a family member for 20 plus years. Some people just will never "get it". They never seem to "wize up". I have, so what do I fear? I am at a place in my life where if there is a real need I am confident God will supply it. I have become ( continue becoming) the guitar player I once dreamed of. after 3 tries I finally found a soul mate. A woman I share so much with and someone who has taught me so much. I have overcome morbid obesity. I now live in the city of my dreams. Some place where I can step outside my door and smile at the beauty I'm surrounded by. Why am I still afraid at times? I grew up in a family that was unstable to say the least. That fear that all can change in a moments notice has nipped at my soul my whole life. Getting sick like I have is a case in point. what started out as a coff turned into this. Still Allison and I were talking the other day how it was after I got sick she went to work. Had it been a day or two earlier she wouldn't been able to be at the hospital with me. All can change yet looking back over my shoulders I have been thru so much yet God has always been there.
I have learned so much in my life because I have always tried to be "Teachable"I have always looked at every situation I have found myself in rather I liked it asked for it or brought it on myself in this way. the Bible says the steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord then He had a reason for this and there is something here for me to learn. God has taken me thru many valleys many times of trials teaching almost all of it has been about relationships. In the 80's it was over coming being co-dependant and the son of an Alcoholic. Reading "Co-dependant no more"by Melody Beaty really changed my life. There has always been the music and it has taken me down many roads.But most of what God has taught me has been stuff someone called to be a therapist would learn. I would have gone down that road had I not been a musician. OK I think this is the deal with this blog tonight I have all the experience talent and training of someone who would be in a "Professional"field like a college professor or such. I chose to remain a guitar player.My love and devotion to the instrument has kept me frankly Poor.
I have all the trapings of success except this. The money that follows success. Allison is so good for me in this respect she never compares me to the Jones,she is not impressed with money and in her eyes she sees me as a very successful man. A musician who has continued to play when so many like me quit and went off to become successful in some other field. I found that back when I taught there were many my age who had regreted giving up music. It was like they were trying to capture something out of their past. Something I never gave up. I have it in me to be I believe an effective therapist but I don't at 54 ever see myself in school to earn a masters degree to be one. What I would like from God is this The money and the life of what I truly am. A world class musician. Guitarist singer song writer. What I want is this I want the life of an artist and be so successful that money is not a worry or issue. Another reason I love being married to Allison is she is good with money. I want the Valedation that money brings to a man for his work. That money to pay bills, buy a home, keep a car going the money to do that and money for my old age(coming from song royalties and works of art etc) for me the money is the pay back for a life time of sacrafice and sticking with music when there were so many other things I could have done...God will you bless the works of these hands after all these years? I pray you will.
I sit here late at night some nights and wonder. All those years in AK. wondering what the future holds. When oh God when will I be released. Well here we are. NOLA. The most unique city I've ever been to let alone lived in..what adventures lie in store here?
The big question for an artist. How do you make money at this? I really have no clue. The music business has changed in ways I thought I'd never see. Technology has made that possible. Anyone with a shoe string budget can produce a good sounding cd and with that same cd can produce a video to go along with your music and put it on you tube. I started to paint My blog is in the process of becoming a book(I have a writer friend back in AK who is editing my stuff as I type this) the painting is something so new. Something I had been thinking of doing for a long time. All these creative things...I see the same gifts in my daughter Jessica. Honestly I think she has far more talent than I. My son Jeremy plays guitar so much better at his age than I did at the same age as he. All these things.I prepared for years for this on one level or another but I didn't take this into consideration. Age. I wasn't planning on getting old.Compared to many others I'm not "old" but if you are reading this it is coming from a middle aged musician in his 50's. One of my favorite movies right now is "The story of Anvil" a story of a heavy metal band that has been at it for 30 years and has yet to "make it" Music makes me happy. Getting on stage makes me happy. Much like them that was(and is) my story too. I'm one of those guitar players that "should have been" it is so hard to out run "Should have been"or should be. the reality is right now I'm not but this story is not on it's final chapter there is yet to be an epolog. Mine has not been written.
I have been thru love and it's loss. I've had nights of glory and moments deep deep sadness. I have felt lost and so utterly alone and lonely. I have moments filled with overwhelming love. There has been so much I have survived. So many times my life has burned down in front of me and I have somehow found the will to rebuild again.
Here is the struggle. I find at my age I don't want the struggles of a 20 or even a 30 something. I am alarmed at the loss of ambition and drive I once had. Yet I still live under the shadow of "Should". A therapist whose book I was reading once said "Should are Shame statements" shoulda,coulda,woulda,..screw it all. What will my history say? Screw my credit rating, screw my retirement,screw all the thingrthat 99% of the rest of the world worships...and they worship "SECURITY" if the fall out of the economy has shown us anything it's the people you trusted to care for your golden years were just plain crooks and stole your money. I passed on alot to "GO ALL IN" I walked away from a state job in AK where had I stayed I would have been covered for life with health benefits. Problem was I was no good at the job. A preacher I heard once said security is the enemy of faith...maybe that is the real issue here. This world or the other world.
The Bible says the just shall live by faith. Jesus said a lot on the subject of God caring for our daily needs. I have experienced miraculess times of God's provision. Truly amazing. My years in Southern California was a time like that. It is built into me thanks to those days to soilder on. Yet my feet arn't as fleet as they once were,my eye sight not as sharp and my energy not what it once was. So what do I have. Something only a guy with the time I have under my belt would. EXPERIENCE. and maybe wisdom. A few years back I spent 5 days getting reaquianted with guys I used to play with. I stood outside one night talking to one of them and frankly I was shocked at the almost lack of growth I saw in him. 20 years had gone by. I would have expected more. I have a few friends back in AK like that. They seem frozen. Suspended in time. I told my sister that I had been having the same conversation with a family member for 20 plus years. Some people just will never "get it". They never seem to "wize up". I have, so what do I fear? I am at a place in my life where if there is a real need I am confident God will supply it. I have become ( continue becoming) the guitar player I once dreamed of. after 3 tries I finally found a soul mate. A woman I share so much with and someone who has taught me so much. I have overcome morbid obesity. I now live in the city of my dreams. Some place where I can step outside my door and smile at the beauty I'm surrounded by. Why am I still afraid at times? I grew up in a family that was unstable to say the least. That fear that all can change in a moments notice has nipped at my soul my whole life. Getting sick like I have is a case in point. what started out as a coff turned into this. Still Allison and I were talking the other day how it was after I got sick she went to work. Had it been a day or two earlier she wouldn't been able to be at the hospital with me. All can change yet looking back over my shoulders I have been thru so much yet God has always been there.
I have learned so much in my life because I have always tried to be "Teachable"I have always looked at every situation I have found myself in rather I liked it asked for it or brought it on myself in this way. the Bible says the steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord then He had a reason for this and there is something here for me to learn. God has taken me thru many valleys many times of trials teaching almost all of it has been about relationships. In the 80's it was over coming being co-dependant and the son of an Alcoholic. Reading "Co-dependant no more"by Melody Beaty really changed my life. There has always been the music and it has taken me down many roads.But most of what God has taught me has been stuff someone called to be a therapist would learn. I would have gone down that road had I not been a musician. OK I think this is the deal with this blog tonight I have all the experience talent and training of someone who would be in a "Professional"field like a college professor or such. I chose to remain a guitar player.My love and devotion to the instrument has kept me frankly Poor.
I have all the trapings of success except this. The money that follows success. Allison is so good for me in this respect she never compares me to the Jones,she is not impressed with money and in her eyes she sees me as a very successful man. A musician who has continued to play when so many like me quit and went off to become successful in some other field. I found that back when I taught there were many my age who had regreted giving up music. It was like they were trying to capture something out of their past. Something I never gave up. I have it in me to be I believe an effective therapist but I don't at 54 ever see myself in school to earn a masters degree to be one. What I would like from God is this The money and the life of what I truly am. A world class musician. Guitarist singer song writer. What I want is this I want the life of an artist and be so successful that money is not a worry or issue. Another reason I love being married to Allison is she is good with money. I want the Valedation that money brings to a man for his work. That money to pay bills, buy a home, keep a car going the money to do that and money for my old age(coming from song royalties and works of art etc) for me the money is the pay back for a life time of sacrafice and sticking with music when there were so many other things I could have done...God will you bless the works of these hands after all these years? I pray you will.
Church
As much as I'm ashamed to say this it has nearly 15 yrs since I was involved in a church. I had some very bad experiences with church(to be fair I also had some very good one too) But when I was back in AK trying to rebuild my life after my divorce I simply had to work multiple jobs to pay off debt and I had had enough of trying to fit into small town churches who were a little to closed minded to what a guy with my call has on him like me does. Yet I have felt quilty as time has gone by. Quilty that I let a few idiots chase me away,when I could have been a profitable member of a fellowship and do my part to build God's kingdom. As a bar musician I had to be very careful about being a believer. I mean the bars are full of lonely bitter people who have been abused by the church and God's people. There many,many times in conversations I would hear people slag the church. I had to agree with them. I have had a growing desire to repair this breach and become an active member once again. Repentance is a one time act it is a turning. The process of restoration takes time. After my divorce I just went nuts and fell hard. and far. It has been a slow turning but I do want to be in a fellowship I feel comfortable and accepted and where I can add my 2 cents to the Kingdom. This morning Allison and I are going to a church. We had met the pastor while I was in the hospital. He seemed cool and his church interesting. It is a Methodist church that joined with a black gospel church after Katrina. So we'll see.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
A cloudless day.
I had a very ruff night last night. Lots of pain. I have been trying to be cool about the pain pills my doctor has given me. (she has been very generous knowing how much pain this has caused me). Today was a breath taking beautiful day. Moving here and spending most of my adult life in the snow I am still amazed at how beautiful a day in Febuary can be. So today I got cleaned up by myself(I am not as unsteady on my feet as I was) and we decided to go visit the Quarter. Parking there is always a nightmare. But we did nd a spot and got out and walked around. I love the art galleries there and we visited this one. It inspired me to want to paint again. Painting to me is such a new thing. I hardly know what I'm doing but when I'm painting it feels really good. I just wish I knew some professional artist that could look at my stuff and offer an opinion. We wandered about then sat down at the Market cafe ate some pop corn shrimp (I had a beer) and listened to some live jazz. The guitar player was one of the best I've heard so far. We made our way back to the car where I had to direct Allison in getting out of our spot cuz some nit had parked so close he all but parked on top of us. We were sitting in the car when Allison observed that I had walked farther today than I had since I came home from the hospital. I had noticed that at first when we would get out I would tire so easily and was short of breath. This is the sickest I've ever been. But today was a good day. We went to the store to pick up stuff for fried chicken(dinner tonight) I have been trying to perfect my version of KFC for quite a few years. I can get pretty close. The key(those 11 herbs and spices) two things, dry italian salad dressing mix and powered tomatoe soup mix. Another key is to liberally salt the chicken as it comes out of the fryer. We got home and realized we had forgotten oil for the fryer. So Allison made tacos. We never have tacos anymore without fresh cilantro. We discovered that to get the real Mexico taste you have to have fresh cilantro. Not a bad day. I may recover from all.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Guitar 101.3
Here is a basic set list or songs that are fairly easy to play and if you know some of these there are alot of people you can play with.
Sweet home Alabama
Give me three steps
Break on thru
Love me two times
Road house blues
La Grange
Tush
Sharp Dressed man
Cheap sun glasses
Tube Snake Boogie
Taking care of Business
Start me up
Honky Tonk Woman
Miss you
Beast of Burdon
I know it's only rock and roll
Satisfaction
Mary had a little lamb
Cold shot
The house is rockin
Couldn't Stand the weather
Lenny
All along the Watchtower
Purple Haze
The Wind cries Mary
Little Wing.
King Bee
Messin with the Kid
How Blue can you get
Rock me baby
The Thrill is gone
Calidonia
Mustang Sally
Midnight Hour
Sleepwalk
Jump Jive and Wail
Highway to Hell
Shook me all night Long
Back in Black
Black out
I feel good
Papas got a brand new bag
cold Sweat
Smells like teen spirit
enter sand man
Now I realize this is a very mixed bag but it is a starting point. All of the signature licks and chord patterns can be had on-line I use this site called "ultimate Guitar". if it ain't there your local music store should have it in book form some where..rok on!!!!
Sweet home Alabama
Give me three steps
Break on thru
Love me two times
Road house blues
La Grange
Tush
Sharp Dressed man
Cheap sun glasses
Tube Snake Boogie
Taking care of Business
Start me up
Honky Tonk Woman
Miss you
Beast of Burdon
I know it's only rock and roll
Satisfaction
Mary had a little lamb
Cold shot
The house is rockin
Couldn't Stand the weather
Lenny
All along the Watchtower
Purple Haze
The Wind cries Mary
Little Wing.
King Bee
Messin with the Kid
How Blue can you get
Rock me baby
The Thrill is gone
Calidonia
Mustang Sally
Midnight Hour
Sleepwalk
Jump Jive and Wail
Highway to Hell
Shook me all night Long
Back in Black
Black out
I feel good
Papas got a brand new bag
cold Sweat
Smells like teen spirit
enter sand man
Now I realize this is a very mixed bag but it is a starting point. All of the signature licks and chord patterns can be had on-line I use this site called "ultimate Guitar". if it ain't there your local music store should have it in book form some where..rok on!!!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Guitars 101.2 the wonderful world of the electric guitar
"Guitar 101.2 " the wonderful world of electric Guitars"
OK we have covered all the things it takes to get started to become a guitar player. We have also covered amps and stomp boxes. Now it is time to step boldly into the world of the electric guitar.
As with the world of amps the world of guitars is very much the same. Divided down the middle between Fender type and Gibson type guitars. It is always funny to me how several people can be working on the same problem at the same time from different locals.
Leo Fender and Lester Paul(Les). The Plank and The Log. Nick names you should remember. In the mid 50's these two guys were experimenting with instruments that would go on to revolutionize the music business. Part of the reason for the electric guitar was one thing, VOLUME. the guys wanted to play loud! They had an entire orcastra to compete with. The electric guitar had been around for years. A pick up stuck to the body of an acoustic jazz guitar ran into a 15 or 20 watt amp. The problem was turn it up loud enough to be heard above the rest of the band and you get howling feed back. Les Paul first took a guitar neck off a jazz guitar ,glued it to a chunk of wood, then affixed a primitive pick up to it ran that to a modified stereo amp and boom the electric guitar was born. The major guitar makers of the day couldn't seem to get past the idea that the guitar didn't need to have all the acoustic properties of prior models to be electrified. Mean while out in Fullerton in this dusty messy shop was this non musician named Leo Fender. Leo made guitar and amps. His greatest saving grace was that he would listen to the local working musicians that would visit his shop and explain what they needed. Let me explain something here. I am not a music historian but I have been at this a long time and have read extensively on the subject. Many of the inovations that Leo came up with came about from conversations he had with working musicians. Les Paul had this deal with Gibson and if you look at the early Les Paul guitars you can still see the "Jazz " mentality craftmenship in his guitars. The use of high end quality tone woods,fine binding and glued in necks as opposed to Leo's designs. Where Les used mahogony and birds eye maple Leo used less expensive woods such as maple, and ash. cheaper and more available in those days. In the early fifties Leo had designed his first pick up a single coil(I'll explain the difference later) and had taken a piece of wood and afixed it to the "plank". One pick up, one volume knob then he took a neck he had made and BOLTED it to the body(not glued) here we have the birth of the telecastor the Les Paul and the Telecastor two guitars that would set in stone all other designs that would follow. Pretty heavy considering the history that would follow. There are some artists whose image is forever intertwined with the guitars they play. Can you imagine Hendrix with out left a handed strat? Jimi Page with out his cherry sunburst Les Paul? Buddy Holly with out a maple neck strat? Angus
Young without a mid 60's SG?
So let me explain the difference between the two types of guitars. We'll start with string length. The distance the string travels from the nut on the neck to the bridge makes this difference. Ease of playing. Tension. On a Fender guitar the length is 25 & 1/4 oy n a Gibson 24 & 3/4 inches. Gibsons are easier to play. Fender are outfitted with "single coil" pick ups. These have a very distinctive sound but they are not a powerful as humbucking pick ups you'll find in Gibsons. Single coil pick ups have a habit of being noisy especially around floresent light bulbs. Humbuckers were developed in the late 50's and are more powerful(louder) than a single coil won't pick up "hum" of any sort, yet there are those who claim single coils have more personality to their sound. I started out on Gibsons but switched to Strats a few years later and have been playing strat type guitars
ever since. As you develop you will naturally lean one way or the other .
The thing I really want to stress about guitars is this. They are organic in nature,each one feels different,even the same model,each one will bring out a different side of what music lives in you,each one has a personality all it's own and each one can bring out a sound,feeling or vibe that may surprize you. I look at my collection more like friends these days than tools.
Ok you been taking some lessons, got your first guitar now you have built your first rig. You know a hand full of chords and you know a few songs, what now? Start looking for players to jam with. And a serious word here, Don't be afraid or intimidated. Even the worlds greatest virtuoso had to start some where.Looking for those at your skill level to play with helps. Most clubs have an open mic night. A great place to learn and gain experience is at church. Plus many are always in need of musicians to help out with the services. At church you will gain experience working with singers, playing with other musicians, as a guitar player you will learn to play in "non" guitar friendly keys because in all likely hood you'll be working with a piano player(they like the keys of F,Bb,C,Eb) so if you are not involved in a church go find one. Or lastly form a band of your own with guys of like tallent just to get together on weekends,grill something,drink some beer and play some music. Rok ON
Next blog and last on the subject.....set lists...songs you must know to play in a band.
OK we have covered all the things it takes to get started to become a guitar player. We have also covered amps and stomp boxes. Now it is time to step boldly into the world of the electric guitar.
As with the world of amps the world of guitars is very much the same. Divided down the middle between Fender type and Gibson type guitars. It is always funny to me how several people can be working on the same problem at the same time from different locals.
Leo Fender and Lester Paul(Les). The Plank and The Log. Nick names you should remember. In the mid 50's these two guys were experimenting with instruments that would go on to revolutionize the music business. Part of the reason for the electric guitar was one thing, VOLUME. the guys wanted to play loud! They had an entire orcastra to compete with. The electric guitar had been around for years. A pick up stuck to the body of an acoustic jazz guitar ran into a 15 or 20 watt amp. The problem was turn it up loud enough to be heard above the rest of the band and you get howling feed back. Les Paul first took a guitar neck off a jazz guitar ,glued it to a chunk of wood, then affixed a primitive pick up to it ran that to a modified stereo amp and boom the electric guitar was born. The major guitar makers of the day couldn't seem to get past the idea that the guitar didn't need to have all the acoustic properties of prior models to be electrified. Mean while out in Fullerton in this dusty messy shop was this non musician named Leo Fender. Leo made guitar and amps. His greatest saving grace was that he would listen to the local working musicians that would visit his shop and explain what they needed. Let me explain something here. I am not a music historian but I have been at this a long time and have read extensively on the subject. Many of the inovations that Leo came up with came about from conversations he had with working musicians. Les Paul had this deal with Gibson and if you look at the early Les Paul guitars you can still see the "Jazz " mentality craftmenship in his guitars. The use of high end quality tone woods,fine binding and glued in necks as opposed to Leo's designs. Where Les used mahogony and birds eye maple Leo used less expensive woods such as maple, and ash. cheaper and more available in those days. In the early fifties Leo had designed his first pick up a single coil(I'll explain the difference later) and had taken a piece of wood and afixed it to the "plank". One pick up, one volume knob then he took a neck he had made and BOLTED it to the body(not glued) here we have the birth of the telecastor the Les Paul and the Telecastor two guitars that would set in stone all other designs that would follow. Pretty heavy considering the history that would follow. There are some artists whose image is forever intertwined with the guitars they play. Can you imagine Hendrix with out left a handed strat? Jimi Page with out his cherry sunburst Les Paul? Buddy Holly with out a maple neck strat? Angus
Young without a mid 60's SG?
So let me explain the difference between the two types of guitars. We'll start with string length. The distance the string travels from the nut on the neck to the bridge makes this difference. Ease of playing. Tension. On a Fender guitar the length is 25 & 1/4 oy n a Gibson 24 & 3/4 inches. Gibsons are easier to play. Fender are outfitted with "single coil" pick ups. These have a very distinctive sound but they are not a powerful as humbucking pick ups you'll find in Gibsons. Single coil pick ups have a habit of being noisy especially around floresent light bulbs. Humbuckers were developed in the late 50's and are more powerful(louder) than a single coil won't pick up "hum" of any sort, yet there are those who claim single coils have more personality to their sound. I started out on Gibsons but switched to Strats a few years later and have been playing strat type guitars
ever since. As you develop you will naturally lean one way or the other .
The thing I really want to stress about guitars is this. They are organic in nature,each one feels different,even the same model,each one will bring out a different side of what music lives in you,each one has a personality all it's own and each one can bring out a sound,feeling or vibe that may surprize you. I look at my collection more like friends these days than tools.
Ok you been taking some lessons, got your first guitar now you have built your first rig. You know a hand full of chords and you know a few songs, what now? Start looking for players to jam with. And a serious word here, Don't be afraid or intimidated. Even the worlds greatest virtuoso had to start some where.Looking for those at your skill level to play with helps. Most clubs have an open mic night. A great place to learn and gain experience is at church. Plus many are always in need of musicians to help out with the services. At church you will gain experience working with singers, playing with other musicians, as a guitar player you will learn to play in "non" guitar friendly keys because in all likely hood you'll be working with a piano player(they like the keys of F,Bb,C,Eb) so if you are not involved in a church go find one. Or lastly form a band of your own with guys of like tallent just to get together on weekends,grill something,drink some beer and play some music. Rok ON
Next blog and last on the subject.....set lists...songs you must know to play in a band.
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